Ad of the Day

Now THATS relaxing...

No. I'm Not Kidding...

PetAirways.

Dogs fly first class. No humans allowed.

If this company lasts 3 months I'll be stunned.

Unreal...

Happy Monday

What an idiot:

A polar bear attacked a woman at Berlin Zoo Friday afternoon after she climbed a fence and jumped into its habitat during feeding time, police said Saturday.

One polar bit her several times after she plunged into the moat, police said.

And my favorite part of the story:

...police issued her a citation for trespassing.

Just for good measure, I suppose.

More photos and the amazing rescue video here.

May your Monday be better than her Saturday was.

Kanye West Humbled

Don't let anyone tell you South Park never contributed anything good to the world.

A Dog I Would Have Liked To Meet

Jim the Wonder Dog:

Born in Louisiana in 1925, Jim displayed signs of extremely high intelligence. He was able to pick out colors a person was wearing, although dogs are apparently color-blind. He could pick out a car by its owner, color, make, or license plate number.

Jim became a hunting dog who knew which fields contained birds and which ones didn't. Mr. VanArsdale would let Jim choose the field in which to hunt and he was never disappointed.

Jim was examined at the University of Missouri by a group of veterinarians and scientists. Results of the examination were normal. He responded to their requests given in Italian, French, German and Spanish. He was taken before a Greek class and given several requests in Greek which he successfully answered. Jim picked the winner in the 1936 World Series. He correctly predicted that Roosevelt would be re-elected in 1936. He also correctly picked the winner in the Kentucky Derby for seven years. And most amazingly, he could predict accurately the sex of an unborn infant.

The Wonder Dog died on March 18, 1937 and was buried in a cemetery in Marshall. A small white stone was erected over his grave bearing the inscription "Jim, the Wonder Dog."

More amazing dogs here.

W Goes Broadway

Somehow, it all seems very fitting:

You’re Welcome America. A Final Night With George W. Bush reflects all of Dubya’s key traits—it’s tacky, cocky, defensive, a little half-[baked] here and there, utterly full of itself … and bunker-bustingly funny.

On the face of it, Ferrell and director Adam McKay are after easy meat. An old-fashioned Bush-bashing, celebrating a thumping repudiation at the polls, and on a Broadway stage—this is the blue-state equivalent of unfurling a mission accomplished banner.

I'll have to check this one out the next time I'm in The City. Have we ever had a President who was easier to make fun of? Apparently, the show is doing well...

What can you glean from a sentence?

A lot, as it turns out:

I had never heard of sentence diagramming until I came across this story. Maybe I just went to bad schools. Anyway, Kitty Burns Florey asserts that,

There are plenty of people out there—not only English teachers but also amateur language buffs like me—who believe that diagramming a sentence provides insight into the mind of its perpetrator. The more the diagram is forced to wander around the page, loop back on itself, and generally stretch its capabilities, the more it reveals that the mind that created the sentence is either a richly educated one—with a Proustian grasp of language that pushes the limits of expression—or such an impoverished one that it can produce only hot air, baloney, and twaddle.

In the fall she broke down some of Sarah Palin's doozies. A sample from the Charlie Gibson interview:

I know that John McCain will do that and I, as his vice president, families we are blessed with that vote of the American people and are elected to serve and are sworn in on January 20, that will be our top priority is to defend the American people.

I didn't stop to marvel at the mad thrusting of that pet political watchword "families" into the text. I just rolled up my sleeves and attempted to bring order out of the chaos:

I had to give up. This sentence is not for diagramming lightweights. If there's anyone out there who can kick this sucker into line, I'd be delighted to hear from you. To me, it's not English—it's a collection of words strung together to elicit a reaction, floating ands and prepositional phrases ("with that vote of the American people") be damned. It requires not a diagram but a selection of push buttons.

Read the article. There's some good stuff there.

Julio!

I was watching this town hall live with my wife. This guy instantly brought a smile to our faces with his exuberance. A couple of things come to mind when I watch it again:

1. Wow. Presidential power is something to behold. Tuesday morning he was a lowly McDonald's worker, by that night...

2. The cynic in me wants to mock his unabashed enthusiasm, but part of me also respects it. It takes a certain amount of humility to act this way.

I present to you.... Julio:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

For You Early 90s Rap Fans

This is the show for you:

MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice are joining forces for a one-night-only joint show. “Hammer Pants and Ice” goes down Friday, February 27, 2009, at 8:00 p.m. at the McKay Events Center in Orem, Utah.

"I'm Sorry"

We can pretend, can't we?

"No Pros Here"

Can someone help me understand this:

...a sign placed at 5th and Eye Streets NW, right in the middle of Inauguration Island. You're reading it right: portions of downtown have been declared a "Prostitution Free Zone" for the Inaugural celebration period. The best part? It has an expiration date, as though at all other times, hookers have free reign over downtown Washington.

What a country.

Obama and Spidey

You know you're popular when....

Porn Industry Bailout???

From the "You've got to be kidding me" Department:

Another major American industry is asking for assistance as the global financial crisis continues: Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry.

On what basis can they make such a request, you may be asking yourself:

Francis said in a statement that “the US government should actively support the adult industry's survival and growth, just as it feels the need to support any other industry cherished by the American people."

I will lose all faith in the American government if this is approved. I don't think it will, but I'm ashamed that it even crossed their minds as a possibility...

Oh, the horror...

(A skier at Colorado's ritzy Vail resort was left dangling upside down and pants-less from a chairlift last Friday morning.)

I'm sure when this gentleman got up Friday, this was the last thing he thought would happen to him. More pictures here, and here.

Baby born in mid-air

The logical follow up question becomes: what is the child's citizenship?

Flame On

Burger King has launched their own cologne, Flame. Which "captures the love for the Whopper" and "gives it to you with a hint of flame-broiled meat".

You can't make this stuff up.

Wrap it up, dude!

Its called birth control people, sheesh.....

Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life

You've always suspected it was true, now you have proof.

Publish my Dreams

The Japanese know no bounds.

(Hat Tip: Andrew)

Here we are now, entertain us....

17 years later, the Nirvana baby is still swimming after dollars.